Infertile Mertile

Lately this has been on my mind, and maybe even more because I am so ready for another baby but at the same time so nervous!!! I have never done a post like this...talking about something that is so personal to me.

SO, here it goes. I hate so badly that Kyle and I can't just have a baby of our own. To want something so much and you can't get it just sucks. We have been married 7 years and 6 of those years I have been without any birth control. I remember thinking that after the first year of being married we would "try" for a baby. Months went by and only disappointment. I remember feeling angry and jealous when I would see a woman pregnant and wanting the same thing so bad. The crying month after month. The bitterness towards couples who were gonna have babies. And then the just not caring anymore stage.

So who says you have to give birth to be a mom. Who says you have to have children of your own, to love a child like its your own. Well, I say that our special guy Kash is the best thing that has ever happened to us. That if we had a choice to have our "own" or have him...it so would be him over and over. I love that I get to be a mom. I love that we got the chance to be so blessed to have him in our lives.

So last but not least, I'm so nervous about never getting to have another baby. Kyle and I can't just say, "ok in 9 months from now lets have a baby." I know, at least I think I know or hope to have the chance to have more children.

The experiences we have had through this infertile mertile stuff has brought amazing things into our lives. We so would not change anything about how we started our family. We have been blessed with such a great little guy. He will always be number one, even if we get number two, number three and who knows maybe one day Kyle and I will get to experience a pregnancy together.